I had the opportunity this week to be the recipient of microaggressions! In a conversation with a casual friend, I was telling her of the opportunity that I have been given to return to my old kindergarten classroom after taking two years off to stay home with my children. Her comment was, "You'll really miss sleeping in and having all that down time at home." I was quite shocked by her comment, knowing what it implied, finished checking out my groceries, and left the store with a quick goodbye. I was offended by her comment which suggests that the last two years that I have been a stay-at-home mom have been characterized by sleeping in and having all kind of time to myself. I believe that too often that is the stereotype of a stay-at-home mom, when in fact it is usually a very different lifestyle. I am up earlier now then when I worked, and have roughly a half hour of "down-time" between the going down and waking up of children when I can down my lunch and go to the bathroom without having someone accompany me!
This experience has given me a better understanding of microaggressions and their impact on the person who is the target. I am sure that the comment was not made to be malicious, as mircoaggressions usually are unintentional, but it sure felt like an attack on my character and my job. Having experienced this has helped me to be more careful about the assumptions I hold regarding culture and lifestyles, which will make me more sensitive to the words that I say.
Stacy,
ReplyDeleteI remember being a stay-at-home mom...it was the best! I also remember my husband and many others that thought it was a piece of cake and that I did nothing all day but eat bon bons and watch television. There is so much more to what we as a stay at home parent. It is too bad that other people don't realize the importance of a stay at home parent. I am sure you have enjoyed the years you have been able to stay at home and will make the decision that is best for your family regarding returning to work or continuing to stay with your children. Good luck to you!
I loved being a stay-at-home mom also. I would give anything to be able to do it again but the cost of living just does not allow it for my family. My husband was laid off about 2 years ago and he thought he would help me out by taking over some of the household chores and with the children. That did not last very long. As much as he helps with the children and the household, he just cannot seem to keep up and is always tired. This to me is funny because I was able to keep up with the household chores, have the kids where they needed to be, work full time and complete my homework on time. I was tired but I do what I need to for my family. It is sad that those who have never done it seem to cast judgement and think it is all fun and games.
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