I have given birth 3 different times and have had 3 very different experiences.
Our daughter, who is now almost 5, was a planned pregnancy. We were able to get pregnant the very first time we tried purposefully! The pregnancy went wonderfully, with no signs of morning sickness, no gestational illnesses, and we were ready to give birth when the time came. I went into labor on my own very early in the morning on her due date, December 8, 2006. I was 5 centimeters by time we got to the hospital and in mild pain. I was moved to the delivery room and the doctor who was going to do my epidural was called. I knew from the moment I conceived, that I wanted to have drugs during delivery as I do not handle pain very gracefully. However, after the 7th time that the doctor tried to administer the epidural, I was in extreme pain from his procedure and it was worse than the labor pains. I decided not to try again and finished out a very painful labor and delivery with a lot of pain medicine through my IV. I had a lot of trauma to my body and had a very painful few days in the hospital and a rough couple weeks at home.
After this experience, I wanted to wait a while before we tried again. When our daughter turned 3, we decided to try for a second child. We got pregnant right away again, but this pregnancy brought on new challenges. I was working full time in my first year of teaching, had a three year old, was finishing up my first Master's in Education degree, and was also working part time as the Children's Ministry Director at our church. I encountered morning sickness for about 3 weeks and had trouble keeping my blood pressure in check. For the last 10 weeks of my pregnancy, I had to go for weekly non-stress tests to be sure the baby was not affected by my blood pressure. A week before my due date, my doctor became concerned about the high blood pressure and lack of fetal movement, so they sent me to the hospital to be induced on August 20, 2009. The induction went great and the labor was going good, so I decided to try the epidural again. We requested a different doctor than we had the first time and he was able to get it in on the second try. The rest of the labor went great, but during the delivery, my doctor hit a moment of panic when my son was born with the cord wrapped tightly around his neck three times with two big knots. He was only 6 pounds, much smaller than our eight and a half pound daughter and much smaller than they were anticipating at 10 plus pounds. The doctor finally got the cord removed and he seemed fine. She told us we were very lucky that he was born alive and she suspected that the knots in the cord was why he was so small. He is a happy, healthy two year old now with no signs of the drama that happened at his birth.
Our third pregnancy was unplanned, occuring just 7 months after the birth of our son. I was using birth control and was not expecting to get pregnant, but when I was a week late I knew something was up. Although there were a lot of unexpected emotions with our "bonus baby", I knew we would be okay with a third. This pregnancy was fairly easy until the last trimester when I developed high blood pressure again, as well as gestational diabetes. They monitored me closely with non-stress tests for the last 8 weeks, and also had me test my blood sugars at home. Two weeks before my due date I was set up for an induction on December 16, 2010. The labor and delivery were very smooth with a sucessful epidural and a wonderful delivery doctor. It was text book perfect, with an easy recovery and I went home in two days with no complications.
All three births were different and unique, just like our three blessings, and I wouldn't trade anything about each birth!
One thing that I was after each delivery was exhausted. Even with two days in the hospital with each birth, I was completly wiped out when returning home. And after the first one, I had little ones to come home to and care for which made getting that extra rest extra hard! One practice that I had heard about from other cultures was the idea of several weeks rest and bonding time for mommy and the new baby. So I did some research to find out where this wonderful practice takes place. In almost all non-Western countries, 40 days of postpartum care is considered appropriate for recuperation of the mother. During this time the mother is strictly limited on what she may do, is encouraged to rest, and is taken care of by female family members.
Here are some other countries ideas for helping the mother to rest after delivery:
*Guatemala~ a midwife visits the mother at home for up to 2 weeks after delivery to check on mom and baby and to wash the family clothes so the mom may rest!
*China~ mothers are given a 30 day confinement to her home, where live in relatives take care of all the household duties so mom can rest!
*India~ 40 days are required for a mom to be confined to her home with her baby to avoid the evil spirits as well as illness.
*Middle East~ someone comes to the house for 40 days while mom rests. This person takes care of the baby and any other children and performs all the household duties while mom is resting.
(information from http://www.nursingcenter.com/prodev/ce_article.asp?tid=408218)
I wish I had some of those same customs when coming home with my own children. Two days in the hospital is all I had and when I returned home to "full duty", I have never full recovered my rest and sleep!! :)
Stacy,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your stories! I guess every birth is truly different. I have found, after reading others responses and talking to close friends and relatives’; mothers do indeed more rest time than what they are being offered. Maybe that is something we can be advocates for, more recovery time!
It is interesting that each birthing experience was very different. I am happy to hear that you think each experience is special.
ReplyDeleteYour research is interesting too. I was surprised that more support for mothers after giving birth is done in other counties than in the US.
Thank you for interesting post !
Aya
It's amazing to see how environmental issues can affect a birthing experience, even when they are all happening to the same person.
ReplyDeleteI agree that some of those customs listed would be nice. In Europe many fathers are able to get paid paternity leave in order to help out at home. In Norway, fathers are expected to take at least 10 weeks and in Germany, they can take up to a year. I have always found it sad that most US fathers need to use vacation time to help care for their wife and newborn child.
Stacey,
ReplyDeleteI am glad to decided to try the epidoral again after a not so successful first go round. I too knew I wanted a pain free birth and it worked out great with my first child. The birth of my second daughter was not as planned. I go to the hospital and she was born before anything could be done. It was a vey painful and not calm process. The pain medication I was given did no take effect untill after the birthing process was completed. So for several hours after giving birth I was asleepnot the ideal process. My birthing plan called for rooming in. So I didn't see my second daughter untill she was almost 24 hours old.
I would have loved to have given birth in one of the countries you reference. I left the hospital and came home to my life. I did have help for the first few day but I found that help is better around week three when you are too tired to think.
I too had three amazing children and went through labor and delivery three times. For me, each one was born in a shorter amount of time. From the time my water broke, my first born was born in four hours, my second in two, and my third in an hour. I would have opted for a home delivery had we had another because I don't think I would have made it to the hospital. I also think it would be nice to have bed rest after the birth of a child. I also liked how Germany allowed fathers to take up to a year off. Thanks for the information.
ReplyDeleteI love the research you did on the postpartum recovery of women in other countries and the examples you gave. I agree with you that the few recovery days in the hospital is not enough time to regain your energy before returning to your daily duties. When I had my son 10 months ago I was also very exhausted when I returned home. I often wish I would have accepted the help that was constantly offered to me by family members. I now know from experience to not claim to be "super woman" and accept the help when its offered because the postpartum period is a crucial time for rest and relaxation. Great Post!!!
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